Invisible

Whoo! I'm back; took a day off, not by choice, mind you, I was just having a particularly awful day and I couldn't get myself to write, I had to get myself sorted out. I could give you a hundred reasons as to why yesterday, wasn't my favorite day but I'd rather not, It's not yesterday anymore, it's today and all that today encompasses. As of yesterday, It was simply fulfilling and that made me less than alright, but as you know, I'm always fine so it's all good.

A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar

They're worth so much more after I'm a goner

And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'

Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

---The Band Perry 

I often like to believe that I'm invisible, it's not a stretch since invisibility really is like my super power. I'm good at blending in and not being seen, even in my bright Captain America jacket, which is easily seen from far away. Yet still, I move in and out of crowds like I was a ghost and as frustrating as that can be, I would like to take a moment to appreciate how natural this is, I mean, I never practiced being invisible and when I try, I'm usually seen! I can't help it, I just go unnoticed! One time I walked out in the middle of one of my classes in high-school and nobody noticed! As cool as this "ability" can be, it's hard to come to terms with and I've had to do just that throughout my life because how in the world can I ever be remembered if I'm never seen? I've been apart of many people's lives and I don't think they even know who I am, so, what can the invisible girl do to be remembered? 

well, I'm doing it, I write, and I write and I write, write, write! I write to a world that isn't listening and as disheartening as that can be I just have to remember that no one listens till you're dead, these words will be worth so much more once I'm gone, and THAT'S why I write! These words will forever be my legacy to a world that can't see me, so that maybe, just maybe, someday, they'll hear me. (Note to Mum and Dad: I want to point out that this isn't a death wish or anything, I'm not saying that I'm excited to die so people will hear me, that's not it at all, so relax, I know this is a morbid topic) The only problem with this idea is that I don't know when I'm going to die or anybody else for that matter so, I can't plan out what I want to write, life is to unpredictable which is why I write everyday and I try to get some point's across, everyday. I've got something to say everyday and therefore I'm going to write everyday because I just don't know when my time is going to be up therefore, I've got to fill up as many pages that I can whenever I can because these words are all I've got to give to a world that is incredibly beautiful.

I want to write every sentence as if it were the last sentence that I'll ever write, I like to live like that but let's face it, my transparent life isn't my legacy, my words are my legacy so I treat them with a lot more care. I know that I'm not the only invisible person, I'm a part of huge invisible community that are struggling every waking hour to be seen which is why It's so important to me to mention that it's okay to be invisible, it's a power. I like to think of us as mutants (Actually I believe that all of humanity has some kind of mutant ability but today I'm just going to focus on the invisible ones) because lots of mutants have interesting abilities that they can control and use whenever they want to but some of them can't, they have an ability that they can't make go away and this makes life a bit more difficult. 

If you're an invisible human think about Rogue, she was never one of my favorite mutants when I was young but as I got older I realized that in many ways she is the most relatable mutants for invisibles, like us. she has been forced to live around her own "super power", She's had to give up the people and the things that she loved because of her power and if you're invisible like me you know the opportunities and the possible relationships that you've had to let go because you weren't seen and you didn't know how to make yourself seen. But, you know what? Rogue lived with it and she suffered through the consequences of something that she was born with and still managed to be a bad-ass hero that fought for the rights of humanity, she's an incredible inspiration that is often looked past, so I'm mentioning her because I truly believe that she helped me deal with my invisibility and perhaps she can for you too. 

Every little bit of inspiration helps and should be utilized because we live on to fragile a mindset to let any of it go to waste. If you're fighting against yourself everyday and feel as if it's a futile battle, let me remind you that it's not because when you're exhausted you'll probably find that tomorrow is just around the corner and that's just going to make you feel more worthless but if you imagine that it's not, that whatever you're working on today is the last thing anybody will ever know of you, when you wake up and there's actually a new day, it's a wonderful surprise, it's a surprise that'll make you smile, you're body held out one more day, one more day in which you need to fill with as much of heart as possible because you don't know if you'll have tomorrow. 

When you open you're eyes open in the morning, remember that a brand new day wasn't really guaranteed so seriously, you should be like "Holy crap! A brand new day that I can do whatever I want with! I had no idea if this was actually going to happen!" And if you're invisible like me, you've got to work extra hard to make a point and guess what!? You've just been given a new opportunity to do that! Every new day should be treated as a surprise, a little jolt, a scare, an unexpected friend behind you waiting for you to acknowledge them.