Wow. Today has been... Just wow, like nothing, it's past Eleven O' Clock and I'm not even out of my room yet, or dressed for that matter, I don't know whats wrong with me, I guess I'm just not feeling ready to go out there and face the world or maybe I just don't like the world that I'm facing today. Also I have no way of knowing how wasting my day like this will affect the day, I don't know but I hate it, I just can't stand feeling this way. I think that lately, all of my posts have sounded the same, with the first couple of paragraphs being "Blah, blah, blah! Wah, Wah, Wah! Life is hard!" and then the rest of the post completely disregarding the introduction and just being like "You can do it!" and then finishing with a GIF that is really more for my benefit than the readers. I don't know, maybe that pattern suits me but if it's been really annoying for any readers, just know, I'm not writing out of choice, it's out of need and it's as annoying for me as it is for you. Whoa, seriously just reading what I just wrote makes me feel like a scrooge, sorry about that, I suppose that I needed to express some negativity this morning and I guess that's okay but lets face it. It's not, It's never okay to spread negativity with a world that is already swimming in it and I apologize but I'm not going to re-write anything #1. Because I'm lazy and #2. Because that negative statement gives me just enough traction to continue writing with some kind of goal. Sometimes it's easier to write about your own process than to actually write something intelligent. So today I would like to change up the pattern a little bit, I know that I've been saying this a lot but... I don't know how, so lets just have fun with this post because my brain isn't working today.
Ha! Look at that! I put a Gif in the middle of my blog! I'm going hardcore today! I mean, honestly! I'm not dressed, I haven't got out my room yet and I'm running on only ONE can of Mountain Dew! I don't even know whats happening today but I think that it has something to do with the weather, It's been so horribly cold outside that I haven't gone outside and done whatever it is that I do, bask, explore, stare at trees, stare at water, it doesn't matter I just love being outside! It makes me happy! and I've been stuck inside for days because of this stupid freeze. You know what? the worst part about this is that today, I'm probably going to have to force myself outside just to get out of this rut! But that's okay, you have to do whatever you have to do to help yourself even if it's inconvenient or borderline crazy. I know that today, I'm late with everything and I'm feeling completely worthless but at least I know what some of the problem is and how I might be able to fix it, that's a start and if I have to work late in life today, so be it, I've literally got nothing better to do and there's freezing cold fresh air outside that's just waiting to help me feel better.
It's times like these that I am most thankful for my wonderful fandoms, I don't know what I would do without them and I mean the actors, the characters and the other amazing fans who love them as much as I do. I know I talk a lot about my fandoms and my Ships and things but that's only because I need them and I'm not the only one, people need these fandoms because they will literally get you through anything and right now that's what life is about; Surviving till the next day and hoping it will be a little bit better than today and honestly If I didn't have Captain America in my life I wouldn't know where to turn to in times like these where I feel like I'm just floating in a place that has no gravity and also has three times the gravity. These characters are there fior exactly that so there's no shame in using them to help you keep moving, even if it's at a terribly slow rate, it's still moving.
"If you can't fly, then run
If you can't run, then walk
If you can't walk, then crawl
but whatever you do
you have to keep moving forward"
---- Martin Luther King Jr.
Wow, this post is all over the place, sorry about that, my brain should be up and running by tomorrow at the latest but hopefully it will be at least at half power by tonight, I'm going to need the time to make up for whatever this strange mutant post is... Also I lost a lot of chances to write yesterday so it would be awesome if I could just double up today, maybe make a couple fanfictions or work on my novel, if I actually get to that point today, I'll post it. I know that I'm going to regret posting this pile of crap but I think it's a good thing not to always be okay and since it's such a great example of that, it's staying. Ugh.
This Post.
No comments:
Post a Comment